Well, hasn't today been interesting? Somewhere nearby a dog was yapping quite literally ALL NIGHT, so I had to turn on a fan and a movie to drown it out to sleep. Even when I did fall asleep, it was fitful, so that I woke up a little bit late to watch conference. Or so I thought. I forgot that if conference started at 10 in Utah, it would start at 9 here, so I missed 3/4 of the morning session. Then this afternoon I fell asleep half way through the session, so I'll have to do conference tomorrow. I wasn't feeling well last night and it only got worse today, so maybe I needed the sleep. Then I dropped my external hard drive that I've only had for 3 months and now it's not working properly. Great. For dinner we went over to Stan and Fran's for dinner. Logan was very hyper and in a rather bad mood. Then I was to drive the Mini home since we need it for Olive's appointment on Wednesday. For whatever reason, Olive was a massive worry wart tonight, worse than usual, and she was flipping out about me driving back, whether I was on the right road or taking the right turn. She kept saying, I don't know where we are, so I would tell her, but then she'd get confused again. I knew where I was, but she was so worried about everything, it was making me tense.
Having a light at the end of this tunnel has made things a bit harder. (Touche God.) I am SOOOOO excited to be out of here and back around my friends that I'm not as patient as I have been in the past. Olive's little comments about my marital status are bugging me more than usual, as are her comments about how beautiful I am and how easy it is for me to get dates, blah blah blah. I know I should be more grateful for comments like that, but I've really never like elderly people telling me "you're beautiful", probably because they use the same word for things that are most definitely not beautiful. And normally comments about my singleness wouldn't really bug me, but I suppose with everything that has happened and certain personal revelations (I hesitate to use that word, but I suppose that's what they are) and then the massive emphasis on families in conference today has just pushed the line a bit.
But as much as I'm looking forward to going back to Bozeman, I'm also fearing it. It's like I'm afraid to love it as much as I did before because I'm afraid it's going to get taken away from me again. I really don't think anyone understands how much it almost killed me to leave and to get back into it all again and then to have to leave because I can't find a job or school falls through again, I don't know if I could handle it again. Ugh ugh ugh. I haven't been this homesick for Bozeman or this desperate to leave California in a while now. Ugh.....
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