My Last Will and Testament

My name is Kim. I'm not crazy. This is what I want to happen when I die and anything said or written previous to this is now void. First of all, donate any organs I have. I don't want to be buried. I think most of the traditions and practices of burial are rather ridiculous. Cremate me. If I die in Teton Valley, I don't want Scott McKague touching me. I've seen him handle bodies and I was rather peeved. I don't want a viewing or funeral. Have a party with lots of food and music and (should you be a drinker, alcohol). I don't care what happens to my ashes. Scatter them somewhere. As for my belongings, Liz has first dibs to anything relating to France and any travel-oriented things that I'm sure no one else will want. Also, she gets my paint supplies. Anything else I have-you all can duke it out. It will provide me with something to watch. If for whatever reason I have a lot of money, make sure my siblings have enough for school and the rest can go to Kendra to adopt Belen. If you disobey my last wishes, I'll haunt you, don't think I won't. Any land I may have inherited because of the ridiculous allotment laws I leave to the Native American Rights Fund, if that is still within the bounds of the law. There's no executor to this will.
Signed, Kim

Farkleflugger

One of my new favorite movies: The Fall by Tarsem Singh. It's one of those films where you can mute the volume and enjoy the images like a slide show. Every scene is a separate work of art. Sad story, really, and a little blood when people die, but all in all a beautiful film, no matter what the anal-retentive critics or the uncultured public say.

This weekend my mom had a softball tourny in Rigby. If Pocatello is the armpit of Idaho, then Ribgy is the hemorrhoid on the you-know-what. Anyways, instead of sitting at home and enjoying my solitary freedom with a pan of brownies, I got bored and walked down the block to my aunts. Fortunately her abusive, alcoholic husband was gone, so she was in a good mood. (Sorry to be blunt Sierra, but he's a jerk you know.) For lunch today we walked to The Bus, a white school bus transformed into a "restaurant". Everyone has raved about how good it is, so I was disappointed to discover how ordinary it was. After lunch we walked over to a little boutique where I bought a white, diaphanous duster for $15 marked down from $119 and a cute onesie for Makoa.

All of these post Hawaii days have been spent in the same way: babysitting. I enjoy it, most days, and I'm getting paid for it, but it leaves no time whatsoever for socializing with people my own age. Ha! What a laugh! As if there were people my own age to socialize with! I've two friends within an hour's drive, but no car. So this is what it feels like to be a hermit? The upside is I've been able to read a lot of books for fun. One of them being a book of useless information. For example, everyone knows who Amelia Earhart is and how she disappeared over the Pacific, but does anyone remember the copilot/navigator Fred Noonan? And did you know General Santa Anna, of Alamo fame, inspired a New Jersey man to create chewing gum?

I was bored tonight and decided to browse through blogs that have won the Bloggies and I have to say for the most part I was disappointed. There were a few blogs that were worth watching, but for the most part they were really unnoteworthy. Not that mine is any better, but you know what I mean. For example there was a blog post by a girl who was apparently thrilled that her six year old had learned the F word. I can just imagine that kid in school. No doubt he's a hellion.

Sadly I turn a quarter of a century in twenty-four days. No doubt it is time for a quarter life crisis, though I wish I had money to do it properly. What good is a crisis if all it consits of is sitting on the couch eating ice cream and watching countless chick flicks? At the very least I should wallow in misery while taking in a cruise. (Please feel free to donate to this fund.)

Shaybee the Missionary

Hola

Two of my new favorite authors: Walter Moers and Patrick Taylor.

So the fourth of July passed quietly, considering. Kendra and Zack came up to stay and we bought some illegal fireworks. Of course a cop parked right across the street so we had to hold off on the illegals until he left. One of my illegal rockets shot down the street instead of in the air and came close to hitting a truck. Then one of my legal little spinning fountains wigged out and sparks shot across the street right at people. Eventful evening. I've never seen so many cops crawling all over the place. So nice most of the time, but that night it was rather annoying. I've found a great stack of books at the thrift stores in town and since I'm only watching Emma this summer, I have time to read them.

My ward this summer is so far very disappointing. I'm used to the ward in Bozeman, where people were nice and participated in the lessong and actually got up and bore their testimonies on Fast Sunday. This past Sunday we sat there for what seemed like a long time and no one stood, so I thought, "For crying out loud!" and stood and, as usual when bearing my testimony (baring?) I got excited and the words just tumbled out so who knows if I made any sense. Anyways, after I got up all the visitors got up and gave really good testimonies. There were only three people from the ward who stood up. Pretty pathetic really. Whatever. At least the ward has at least one piece of eye candy to look at...

Today's deep thought: Is it okay to steal something that was stolen from you? Is it ethical? For example, say I steal a rather large and expensive radio from you. Is it okay for you to come in without notifying me and steal it back? Would it even be called "stealing" if it was technically yours?

Also, something happened in Hawaii that bears noting: a chicken attack. Anyone who has been to Kauai knows it's overrun with feral chickens. My mom and Sidnee and I were sitting in the car in a pull out watching the ocean and Sidnee threw out some food of some sort to the male, female, and baby chicken. After a while, she closed the door and I fell asleep. Suddenly, there was a crash on my window. My initial thought as I shot awake was that some anti-haole local was trying to rob us, but as I looked up at the window, I saw the stupid female chicken flapping her wings and falling to the ground. We all look at each other like, "Did that chicken just attack the car?" We were so freaked out we didn't get out, we just left. Seriously, have you ever even heard of a chicken attacking a car?

Happy Fourth!

New favorites

My trunk.

My new favorite lotion.

Monopoly

Me and Emma played Monopoly today. We play with Free Parking, where you pay your bills to the center of the board and the first person to land on Free Parking gets all the money in the center. Emma, the little stink, kept landing on it until she had all the money, save my twenty some odd dollars. Half my property was mortgaged and I had no buildings. Emma,on the hand, had two towers on every single piece of property. I was going to start giving her property in lieu of rent, but we finally just ended the game because I kept landing in jail and it all became rather pointless. Just so you know, losing to a nine year old isn't the greatest boost to your esteem.