Saturday morning, about 7am, Shay and I headed for Preston. He was driving my car and I had a little bed made up in the back seat and was planning on sleeping on the way down. Ha ha. Every bump in the road, every movement made and I had to sit up to make sure my car was okay. I eventually gave up trying to sleep and got a little bit of homework done. Slept on and off the rest of the day, read a book and laid about. My TMJ was acting up so I didn't sleep well that night and slept through church the next day.
Outside my dad's house I noticed a black mass in the snow. Getting closer, I discovered it was the corpse of a baby cow. Shay said it had been running around one day and suddenly fell over, dead. My dad thinks a vessel in its lung burst. I think so too, because it had blood in its nose and mouth. Is was disgusting. I can handle human corpses, but not animals, especially baby animals.
We had to leave early because I had to be back in Rexburg to work. I was irritated at work because there was some stuff that a certain someone was supposed to do during the day, but never did, so I was stuck with it. Of course I was just irritated at everything because my head was pounding.
When I got home everyone asked me if I had a good weekend. I never know what to say to that when I go to Preston. There's just so many bad memories, so many echoes of hate and hurt within those walls. I spent so so long wanting to run away from that place, it's hard for me to go back.
Lately, I've felt like I've been rushing around like a sightless demon, doing so much for everyone but me. Technically the school work will make me smarter and my job earns me money, but you know what I mean. I feel directionless and overworked and in great need of a self-rejuvenating break.
2 comments:
sounds like you might need a vacation... pocatello is a lovely place to visit...
it all "turns out" in the end. Seriously, i remember feeling the same way up there while i was still going to school.
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