Stupid Insects

My friend Caleb is serving a mission in the Philippines and his last letter mentioned they had resolved their cockroach problem. Cockroaches are so disgusting. The spawn of satan I tell you. During my high school trip to Mexico, the hallways of the hotel would be covered in cockroach carcasses in the morning. COVERED. Every morning. When I lived in Hawaii, I was in the room alone one day and noticed a cockroach the size of a small horse was sneaking around. Since it was obviously far too big to squash with a plastic flip-flop, I found the hale's can of aersol poison. I chased that cursed thing all over that room, spraying it every time it landed somewhere. This was not a silent chase of death. I squealed and yelped every time it came near me. Next door I could hear our two Samoan neighbors laughing. No doubt they were laughing at me, the pansy white girl who can't handle one little cockroach. The flying devil finally hid in some little crack where I couldn't get at it. The room was one big fog of poison, so I left for a bit so I didn't asphixiate myself. Come to find out, the cockroach was giant because it was going to be a mommy. Instead, me and my roomate had to deal with the hordes of tiny little cockroaches crawling over everything.
We never had to deal with these in Idaho. The closest we got were those spindly legged Box Elder bugs, the ones with the red-orange lines on their black wings. I hate those things. They covered the granparent's house and always threatened to sneak inside or swarm you. The houseflies DID swarm you, or so it felt. There were alway so many in the house it looked like the ceiling fan was black, instead of white. You quickly learned to sleep with your entire body under the covers and the make sure there weren't any holes the flies could crawl in. To this day I can't sleep unless my head is covered.